Have you ever couldn’t even? Like, couldn’t even so hard you just can’t anymore? I like to think that we all can’t, sometimes. But sometimes you have to could.
One of those times to even can is when you’ve got a dirty diapy. I know, I know – you couldn’t even. Today you couldn’t even put on your pants on right, so you had to wrap your butt up in a white cloth with a safety pin!
1. Focus on what you CAN even!
Lots of people ask me, dude, how do you go on with it all? You adult so hard every day – you even make time for boring stuff like cleaning your room and doing your laundry! I mean, ~I~ just can’t even, I can’t even my diaper!
To build confidence, the simple truth is this: I just focus on the little cans I can. This could be anything; from getting out of bed in the morning, to licking the dirt off your arms, to avoiding ordering the sixth large Domino’s of the week! Find your own possibilities. I bet you could even. I know I can.
2. Work your way up to removing the safety pin from your diaper.
This could be tricky, depending on where you pinned your now-soiled human-waste-catcher. You have to pinch the pin sideways to release the clasp. Luckily, since it’s a safety pin, you don’t have to worry about that mean pin pinching you!
3. Once the pin is released, hide the poopie diaper somewhere it will never be seen again.
No one must know of this. Burn it if you must.
4. Now that you have completed your task for the day, lie in bed and watch Youtube for the next nine hours.
If you made it to this step, you evened! I’m so proud of you! Take some pills or something. Eat them. Fuck. Pour yourself a glass of your preferred alcoholic beverage.