This one is a personal favorite. Boil up some water, then add in the ramen noodles. Should take about three minutes to soften them. Remove from the heat, then crack open two eggs into the still-hot mixture, stirring as you go, until the eggs cook through. Season to taste. So cheap!
2. Hot Dogs!
Hot dogs aren’t hard at all! You can buy them at the supermarket for a couple of dollars. Boil water. Apply hot dogs. Apply buns. Apply sauces. Eat up! Wow!
3. Sriracha + Spaghetti + Hot dogs = Thai Fusion
Hungry for something a bit more exotic? Take the hotdogs you made from number two on this list. Cook some spaghetti. Slice the hotdogs into 1 cm portions, put them on the spaghetti. Add sriracha. An instant spicy classic!
4. Peanut Butter + Jelly = Peanut Butter & Jelly
A traditional meal, one my mom used to make all the time! Take a jar of peanut butter, scoop it into a bowl. Then add in one jar of grape jelly. Mix together. Pour the mixture into a frying pan. Set to high. Stir well, about fifteen minutes. Pour the boiling protein sugar goo directly into your facehole. Delicious and nutritious!
5. Toast + Mayonnaise = A well-seasoned open-face sandwich!
Squirt some fucking mayonnaise onto a piece of shitty white toast. Done!
6. Tortillas + Crackers = Cracker Tacos!!!
This one is perfect for late night fridge raids. You’ll probably have some tortillas, right? And then you’ve probably got your refrigerated Ritz crackers too, right? Just break up the crackers with your bare hands over the tortillas, microwave this thing and eat it! Aren’t you an adult!?
Okay, number seven on this list is a bit more expensive than the rest of this list. But you already know how to make a fat ice cream sundae – you get high and blow all your money on dessert every night!
8. Cell phone + your hand = Domino’s!
Take a cell phone – any cell phone. Then, Google the phone number of your local Domino’s pizza. Simply press those numbers in sequence into your phone’s phone app, and press call! They’ll ask you what kind of pizza you want. Expect delivery to take twenty to thirty minutes. Boom! Pizza at your front door!
9. Alcohol + Tuesday Night = The Driest Handjob You’ve Ever Received!
I can’t really remember the instructions but you’ve gotta trust me here.